Comments on Living Oprah: e-Grifters

Oh people get a grip!This is 2008, and online dati...

2009-01-09T16:28:59.757-06:00

Oh people get a grip!
This is 2008, and online dating is almost like meeting people on the street. I say almost because the only thing you can't do initially is see them.
I used to feel embarrassed going on line but sometime late last year I got over it.
I don't care if I meet my husband online- who cares. Sounds like false pride to me.

There are crazy people everywhere and if you can't pick up on people and you are not perceptive and intuitive then perhaps it's not for you.
I haven't found a mate online, but I have certainly found very normal people who I am friends with now that live in my city.
They are as normal as I.

A lot of men find it easier to find women on line because it gives them a vast database previously not accessible to them, and it's easier for them- granted that is lazy talk, but it takes the rejection sting down a notch.

I know people who have married people from dating sites, and are living quite the normal life.

My bet is that the people who have used bad judgment in picking a mates off line are the same ones who would do that on line.
We are who we are and that is why some people are scammed easier than others.

There si absolutely no shame in internet dating. It gives you the opportunity to meet people you probably would never have met in life offline.

oops, I should've clarified the "50 or younger" co...

2008-12-05T18:36:00.689-06:00

oops, I should've clarified the "50 or younger" comment...I didn't mean anyone "a day over 50" is elderly. Sorry. I was just using a generic age where people still have their wits about them & should medically be able to see a scam coming for them, a mile away. My point was, "50 is obviously young enough where I personally do not sympathize if I were to hear they fell for some Nigerian scam".

And-- for anyone that finds themselves in Columbus Ohio after dark, if a man approaches you with a story about how his wife is in labor (in Detroit) but his car is broke down and needs a few bucks for bus fair...um...well, you can come to your own conclusion there. But I've heard this story at least 5 times over the past 10 years.

Teresa, I think it depends on people. I never int...

2008-12-05T18:17:27.920-06:00

Teresa, I think it depends on people. I never intended to meet anyone online, and I'm just a normal person who was curious about ICQ because all her friends used ICQ, but I didn't. This wasn't even an online dating service. I didn't do any online dating. What happened was that my friends and I decided to travel, and we went to his city. So even if we didn't decide to meet him there, we might have met by chance.
Also, when I was younger my parents almost moved to his city, and it's likely I would end up at his hs, because he went to a really good hs.
There are just to many similarities on our paths, to believe we weren't supposed to meet at all.

By the way I don't necessarily support online dating - i know what a hypocritical thing to say. But honestly I'm even ashamed to tell people I met him online. Most people (parents, siblings, closest friends) know, but no one else, and I don't even intend to tell my kids.

Whoa, since when is 51 elderly?! I thought 50 was ...

2008-12-05T17:51:47.564-06:00

Whoa, since when is 51 elderly?! I thought 50 was the new 40 (or 30, or 20, or something). Please don't think I'm writing this just because I'm closer to 50 than 40 either. So what if AARP is bugging me already? It's not like I'm sensitive about it or anything (although I do look forward to all the discounts at stores and restaurants I'll be getting!). Age is just a number - right, Right, RIGHT?

There was a great story on This American Life earl...

2008-12-05T16:03:23.927-06:00

There was a great story on This American Life earlier this year about guys who try to scam the email scammers. Here's a link to the show (it's the second story listed):
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=363

I only feel sorry for the eldery people who get sc...

2008-12-05T13:02:47.715-06:00

I only feel sorry for the eldery people who get scammed. They're so willing to trust and just excited to talk to people/strangers..that's really upsetting when that happens.
But for anyone 50 or younger..wise up.

And the online dating thing totally CREEPS me out! Everyone I know (at work) who have either met,dated or married someone from an online sounce have been total screwballs. I think those sites also throw off fate too, but that's a whole other discussion.

There is a similar scam on cragslist. A great apar...

2008-12-05T11:12:56.535-06:00

There is a similar scam on cragslist. A great apartment at a price that seems too good to be true with pictures is posted. I responded to two ads like this and the recieved an email from someone in West Africa who said great, love to rent it to you. Didn't take a genius to figure out they wanted the deposit sent to Africa.

I'm sure they would have sent the key right? To the place advertised I'm sure of it. (sarcastic)

So if you are a renter avoid the craigslist scammers too.

My elderly aunt is addicted to these "lotteries" ...

2008-12-05T10:08:58.043-06:00

My elderly aunt is addicted to these "lotteries" or "sweepstakes" She is almost 80 years old. I think she actually won ( and received) a television many years ago in a legitimate contest. Since then she has been sending money all over the place... all over the world. Unfortunately, we can not do anything to stop her. She has spent about $30,000 trying to win again.

I've one the UK lottery so many times I can't cou...

2008-12-05T09:29:07.199-06:00

I've one the UK lottery so many times I can't count.

I agree with you about trying to muster some sympathy for the people who were by the Nigerian thing. Duh!

I'm dating myself, but decades ago, Phil Donahue had a show about women scammed by the men they were married to--men that had known for one date and married.

Who would be desperate enough to marry someone after one date? I found myself terribly unsympathetic and I don't even think I was a teenager yet.

I remember this show from last year, so I think th...

2008-12-05T08:00:49.783-06:00

I remember this show from last year, so I think the Nigerian scammer thing is something that many more people are wise to and I see those junk mail things less often in my email box.

I don't know about you, but I have won the Euro Lottery, the Irish Lottery, and the UK lottery! Exciting right? Except since I never entered lotteries and don't really believe in the lottery, so alas, my winnings are still unclaimed.. I know this because I get periodic reminders that I'm running out of time to claim my "prize".

Paula, you're brilliant. I totally agree with your...

2008-12-05T07:43:50.321-06:00

Paula, you're brilliant. I totally agree with your assessment. I have several people in my family who are the same way and I don't expect them to change.

I agree with everyone's comments in general, but I really had to think about the work at home scam and the ebay dress scam. I think it's possible that I could have fallen for those. I have made purchases from ebay sellers of items I didn't win successfully (and always using paypal).

My dad had a bad experience with a seller who took his money after he won the actual and never produced the item. I know it took a long time to recover his money (thankfully only about $60) from ebay, but that the seller has multiple usernames and consistently defrauds people. He makes it hard for all of the legit ebay sellers out there.

LO, glad to hear your cold is getting better. I'm going to try to score tickets for the shows here in DC. I've never gotten lucky all the times I tried to get tickets to the chicago shows, but maybe this is my year (and I can be your special correspondent!)

Have a great weekend all!

I think someone who can be had by a Nigerian scamm...

2008-12-05T07:04:41.371-06:00

I think someone who can be had by a Nigerian scammer has been had before by someone else and will be had again. My father is just such a person. I've watched him all my life fall for one unbelievable story after another. And the worst part is, there's no way to stop him because he's impervious to logic on this issue. He WANTS to be scammed. And each scam has an element of "lend me this money today, and I will pay you back 3X what I owe you", so yes, it's greed based.

I would have found it interesting if Oprah had asked the family members of the Nigerian scam victim if this had been the first scam the person had fallen for. I would bet they would have a long list of other such incidents to recount.

My cousin, who serves on a bank board of directors...

2008-12-05T06:20:59.467-06:00

My cousin, who serves on a bank board of directors, told me of a customer who lost thousands of dollars to a scam. She said he was a really smart guy, but fell for it hook, line, and sinker. We've had several of those Nigerian emails over the years, plus a few efforts at lottery scams. Our inner skeptics came to the rescue, fortunately.

As to online dating, I'm lucky I met my husband the old fashioned way (crossed paths in college, our families knew each other.) I'd have been way too chicken to date someone I'd met online. Since the internet hadn't been invented yet, it's just as well, lol.

I don't believe in winning lotteries I didn't ente...

2008-12-05T02:49:19.146-06:00

I don't believe in winning lotteries I didn't enter. I don't believe in inheritance I didn't expect from relatives I never knew. It surprises me that people fall for this.

As for online dating, I met my husband online. But I talked to him for over 3 years before I met him in person. We lived in different cities so we never cared about making a good impression as we never thought we would meet, or even date. We were ourselves. We were just good online friends that would meet on ICQ on some evenings, while studying (college years). One day we realized (lucky for both of us it was at the same time) that we not only like each other but that I would actually like to date a guy like him. This story is too long to explain here. I think there are risks associated with online dating but there are also risks when meeting someone at a bar. It's really about intuition and asking the right questions. I'm a little neurotic so I do have that advantage of recording and analyzing the negative things I see and hear. LOL Fortunately, I could see the good and the bad in him, he didn't try to charm me, and there was nothing that freaked me out.