I thought this was hilarious and had to share it with you. Earlier this year, I followed Oprah's directive to sign up for text updates to my cell phone. The night before almost every show, I get a text message on my cell phone that tells me what the show's subject will be the following day. I already know what's coming up each day since I see the previews and check out Oprah.com regularly, so the texts tend to be useless fodder in my mailbox and I pay them very little heed. However, this season, the missives have also included an ad from a sponsor. For today's show about our spiritual growth and health, I got this message: "On the next Oprah, Brought to you by McDonald's. Enjoy a McCafe Specialty Coffee Today: Best Life Week: Finding Your Spiritual Path."
I worry about the Pavlovian impact this message could have on me. It's quite possible that every time I sit down to meditate, I'll want Chicken McNuggets. Great. There goes the diet.
Maybe there could have been a more appropriate sponsor to support this week of health and personal growth?
Regarding the show, I thought it was interesting that Oprah didn't address her inability to put her own health and happiness first (these are her paraphrased words, not my speculation) as a spiritual issue on today's show. I know everyone says that it's "brave" that she's discussing her weight. But frankly, her weight is out there for everyone to see. It's not a secret. A much braver thing to admit might be the need for clarity in her own life. It still feels as if she's addressing the weight as a separate issue that she hasn't conquered yet, while she behaves as if she completely "gets" spirituality. As she teaches us, everything in life is inextricably connected, so aren't these issues intertwined?
It struck me that on today's show she kept teaching us that beauty is really an internal attribute, while on Monday's show about her weight, she mentioned something along the lines of all her power and celebrity not meaning anything if she "can't fit into the clothes." So, which is true for Oprah? Does she really think our beauty is internal, or is it just the right thing to say? I get stuck in this battle. For me, I can somehow find beauty in other people, but sometimes look at myself and only see what's on the outside.
I am always confused by Oprah's absolute certainty about the issue of spirituality. I might be in the minority, but for me, it comes across as prideful. Especially since the most deeply spiritual people I've had the good fortune to meet are humble, open and more likely to listen, learn and admit that they are still students on the path of life - even as others attempt put them up on a pedestal. Why do you think Oprah points out other peoples' struggles to be true to themselves (like the stay-at-home mom on today's show) without allowing us to see the cracks in her own spiritual armor? Now, this is not to say I think that she's a bad person at all. I admire so much of the work Oprah does outside of herself to help other people. But, I think we all have a personal route of spiritual growth that we're meant to be on throughout our lifetime and I worry that people who behave as if they've crossed the finish line of their spiritual path are in for a painful fall.
I noticed that for most of the Skype'd in viewers' questions, Oprah did A LOT of talking and teaching, as if she were the spiritual expert, not her panel of guests. I wonder whether Oprah is as spiritually evolved as she seems to believe. Maybe she is! Personally, I've always just thought of her as a really smart, talented woman, not as a sort of evolved or transcended spiritual guide. Luckily, it's not my business to decide and I get to make my own choices this year.
What are your thoughts on this? Do you think that Oprah is more evolved spiritually than you are? Do you look to her to develop your own spiritual path? If so, I'd really like to understand why if you have the desire to share.
Or, do you feel otherwise?
Tomorrow, Suze Orman addresses our finances. Quick, everyone get out your dunce caps! If she's in her usual form, we're in store for a humiliating spanking. You know - the kind of embarrassing emotional pain that only a McFlurry can ease.
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34 comments:
Had to turn it off.
Yeah. It was not so hot. No wonder it wasn't advertised as heavily as the other shows in the BLW series. More importantly - Holly - you're a zoo keeper. That's one of the coolest jobs ever. It's one of those careers I've always fantasized about. What kind of animals do you work with? Best, LO
I liked the happiness show from last Friday a lot better than this one. I thought the middle spiritual guy used way too much jargon in his advice. Lots of what they said today was true!
I meant to watch the second airing of the show tonight because I know they said something about how we can make doing laundry a spiritual exercise and I have a mountainous pile mocking me from the floor in front of the television and I sure would like folding it all to feel more rewarding to my soul.
Oprah is like anyone.. it is often easier to give advice and sort out other people's problems than it is to face some of those issues in ourselves. I think Oprah wants very much to appear to have it all together and she already did her confessional on Monday so she doesn't want to do any more of that.. especially in front of a live audience.
All of the mainline churches I've attended in my life have always welcomed gay people into leadership roles, so I think it is a shame that Oprah has the idea that churches universally preach the opposite.
Those of us who wear sensible shoes are more spiritually evolved than Oprah... ;-)
iamsusie, you made me laugh once again. you and i are sisters in this one: clearly with our combined mountains of laundry, we could reach some kind of nirvana. if i combined laundry with DISHES, i might actually evaporate into a transcendent mist and become one with the universe. xoLO
Did Oprah answer those five happiness questions last week on the show? The ones Iamsusie quoted? Because I get the feeling that there IS something missing in her life. Self-love, maybe?
I think that Oprah is probably more spiritually evolved than I am, because, frankly, I can't imagine anybody being LESS spiritually evolved than I am. At least she thinks about it and works on it (I'm assuming). It is a big gap in my life.
But I think there is a gap in Oprah's life, too. Maybe it is just that she has never really come to terms with her past or her imperfections. I see a woman who is trying very hard to make her life perfect (ours too!). That she feels that perfection (or "bestness")is necessary says a lot.
As you said, Iamsusie, it is easier to see problems and give advice to other people than yourself. (Though I wouldn't presume to advise Oprah.)
I once heard someone say that if you are going through a crisis in your life or have a difficult decision to make that you imagine what you would say or do if your best friend was in that situation. It does help clarify things sometimes.
i checked in to see how you were enjoying NOT watching oprah this week and have to laugh out loud! you're free - you're out of jail now! (although i am addicted to my jon stewart and my stephen colbert and have watched them religiously for years so i shouldn't be talking!) good luck re-adjusting to life on the outside ;) and happy new year!
For the entire time I've been reading your blog, this is the first week I've actually watched the shows and then come here to read the posts. That really doesn't have anything to do with anything, I just felt like announcing that!
This show made me feel rather conflicted. I really liked the idea that spirituality is different than religion (I literally gasped when Rev Bacon said that being gay was a gift from God - you don't hear that message from religious leaders much via the media). I really didn't like Oprah's interrupting and "I've got this" attitude. It was like "I clearly don't have control over my weight, and I'm a little shaky on my health, but I'm all over this spirituality thing." I kind of felt she practically beat up the poor woman who was loosing her bakery (who clearly needs Ms Orman tomorrow regarding what to do and not to do with one's 401K plan!).
It makes me sad to think that someone as beloved as Oprah, who has so much going for her (talent, resources, close friendships, access to experts) still can't get past her demons. Doesn't give much hope to the rest of us who are meandering along with less. Then again, she had a much more difficult road to travel than I, certainly, so perhaps she needs those things more.
Happy New Year LO! Glad you're still around. ;-)
Mmm, a bit contradictory methinks...
'Remember you are not your possessions and you are a child of the universe. Buy the third book by guru Dee Clutter on "Freeing yourself from unnecessary purchases"
Next week, Suze Orman tells you why you can't afford anything we mentioned this week, only days after we talked you into buying it.
Mmmmmm, cheeseburger!'
Okay, that little rant off my chest :)....
I remember watching Oprah in the 90's around the same time as discovering Louise Hay's book 'You Can Heal Your Life'. She was always learning along with us and the fact that mentioned her own struggles made me feel such a connection. She had read the books and tried the techniques but let the guest speak and have the audience decide for themselves.
Now I notice that anytime a guest mentions personal achievement or happiness through spirituality I see Oprah saying 'That's how I've always done it, I know. I have been trying to say this for years. It's what I know that works, I know all about it.'
And I think - who are you trying to convince? It doesn't drive it home any more than me being able to listen to your guest uninterrupted.
Then I realized.....
It seems to be the change between Oprah hosting a show and Oprah being the show. And her audience made her that way. We can't believe it unless she endorses it personally.
And now I think I see the reasoning behind your experiment LO. :)
I think a more authentic show about spirituality would not involve self-important guests talking down to us but would be all about the armless, legless new mother and the burned Italian girl. I very much wanted the two guys to stop talking. The woman said virtually nothing, so I couldn't see why she was there. And Oprah clearly has a disconnect within herself about who she is and what is important to her.
I found their treatment of the people who skyped in their questions to be extremely condescending. These people don't need spiritual advice, they need practical advice. Why they would have turned to Oprah with these questions, I don't know.
Your text message was brought to you by McDonald's!?!? Seriously? They are the epitome of junk food! You could ball up the paper it comes in, eat it, and get better fiber in you than by eating their burgers! Why would Oprah allow such a horrible representation of food to sponsor her show?! Especially after talking about getting healthier. There is absolutely nothing healthy about McDonald's.
Whew. Done my rant.
As for the show, I think the Remembering Your Spirit segments from years ago impacted me more than this one did.
And to back a couple of shows - did anyone else notice Carny Wilson basically just repeated and reinforced everything Oprah said? Are her guests coached on taglines and key words?
I’m extremely pro-Oprah so I’m biased, but understanding that bias I would say Oprah is exceptionally spiritually evolved, and indeed she would have to be to come from where she did to where she is today. Most people would be so destroyed by all the adversity Oprah faced growing up poor, black, female, illegitimate, physically abused, sexual abused, emotionally abused, pregnant at 14 to a baby that dies, that they would end up on welfare, in jail, or dead, yet Oprah somehow found the wherewithal to become the richest & most philanthropic African American of all time and the most influential woman on the planet, with millions of loyal fans, a loyal best friend like Gayle, a long-term stable partner like Stedman, became a mother to hundreds of African daughters at her school, and even once scored perfect on a happiness test.
Of course it depends how you define spiritually evolved, but I don’t think Oprah could catapult herself out of such trauma into the supremely high functioning woman she is today unless she had the spiritual efficiency to conquer that many demons and somehow see a way to find passion and hope in the most miserable of circumstances. Is her life perfect? No. She may have recently suffered from mild depression and weight gain but 2008 was an exceptionally stressful year (there was the trial at her school in Africa, she sacrificed her politically neutral, non-racial, pro-woman image to elect a black man who was competing against the two wildly popular white women (Hillary & Palin), and if all that wasn’t stressful enough, her house nearly burned down, & the media & others are constantly trying to take her down a peg).
I’m not sure what you mean when you say Oprah doesn’t let us see cracks in her spiritual amour. Doesn’t the January issue of her magazine talk about how she was feeling depressed? Wasn’t Bob Green on her show and on Larry King talking about how Oprah was depressed of late (though I wished he’d stick to fitness & stop trying to be Oprah’s psychologist). And I don’t think Oprah claims to be a spiritual expert, it’s just that she’s so enthusiastic about the power of positive thinking (because it was so crucial to surviving her own horrible background) that she’s passionate about getting others to embrace these concepts too. In her enthusiasm she ends up talking over her guests & looking like a know it all.
I caught some of Oprah yesterday. I've been bracing for the religious right freak out over the gay comment ever since.
I attended a very gay friendly church when I lived in Chicago. While I never heard a pastor say being gay was a gift, I never heard that it was homosexuality was a sin. I couldn't tell if Oprah's bemused reaction to the statement was just based on never hearing a minister (didn't catch the man's title) say that specifically or because she didn't quite agree. I also thought she played it down somewhat. Was she also thinking in the back of her mind, "Oh no! Here come the crazy press releases!"
So a quick Google search brought up all the shocked postings at Oprah.com. My favorite posters all indicate that while they are not one to judge, however...
I too could only stand to watch the first fifteen minutes of this show.
Oprah has assumed a dangerous certitude about spirituality. The most enlightened people I know admit that everything they believe could be wrong, that spirituality is a journey of discovery that should never end.
For me, spiritually enlightened people do a lot of listening and understanding. They don't see everything in absolutes and they don't come off with blanket solutions for things. Oprah is quite often like this but quite often not...
The third older man expert was an Episcopalian minister. His theology was pretty similar to what I grew up with in the Presbyterian Church (USA) which was thoughtful, intellectual about theology, loving, and open.
I was really impressed by how gay friendly Oprah’s ministers are. I, like Oprah, have never heard a minister go as far as to say that being gay is a gift for God, as generally the church is the most homophobic institution in America today, and I was proud of Oprah when she decided to stop attending church in the late 1980s, despite the important role the church played in her childhood.
I think Oprah has been pushing a pro-gay agenda for the last quarter century. If you read the book FREAKS TALK BACK by Yale sociologist Joshua Gamson he argues that the tabloid talk show genre which was pioneered by Donahue, but really turned into a huge industry by Oprah in the 1980s did more to mainstream gays than any other 20th century development, by giving them decades of much needed high impact media visibility. That’s one reason why Time magazine named Oprah one of the 100 most influential people of the 20th century and Ellen asked Oprah to play the therapist on her supremely controversial coming out show in the 1990s (which caused Ellen’s sitcom to be cancelled and Oprah to get what was at the time, the worst hate mail of her life).
Eventually imitators like Jerry Springer made tabloid talk shows look extremely sleazy, most of these shows were cancelled and others like Oprah went in a whole new direction, though Oprah still seems to have an unusually high number of gay guests like Nate Berkus, Suzie Ormon, her makeup artist and hairdresser, Melissa Ethiredge, that tennis star that was recently on, the pregnant man etc.
My problem with Oprah's discussions on spirituality probably come from my MA in theology. Spirituality without responsibility, structure or values seems if'y to me. Many times, she promotes these things like the Secret that are all about yourself getting more material possessions or or feeling better about yourself.
I turn her off when she talks about these things.
Hi everyone,
I don't think Oprah is more spiritually evolved, and I never thought she should talk to her guests with so much authority.
She's definitively a very smart and successful lady, someone black, white, yellow, red, brown.... people can look up to. But in my opinion, she can only share her experience and what worked for her, instead of telling people what they should do.
I don't always care for Oprah's stories. I think it's good that she tells people a little about her experiences (with weight, with African school, about her depression, childhood, etc.). People are always curious, and instead of reading rumors, it's always better for people to her her side. Also people give her more respect when they think they know her. But honestly, do I care if she's overweight? Not as much as she thinks. I can look beyond her external looks and see she's intelligent, and hard working etc. So in that sense I think she could be more spiritually evolved by not being so focused on external looks. And by the way, I think that she's pretty at her current size, and she knows how to show her best by choosing (or at least employing a shopper to choose for her) beautiful clothes.
and in terms of her being overweight, she's not that overweight. When I always talk about how being overweight isn't healthy, I describe when someone is at least 60-100lbs overweight. Being 20-40 pounds overweight isn't tragic.
I think that sometimes people find it hard to step outside themselves and really take a look at themselves. I imagine that Oprah is a busy lady and is constantly being fed opinions from outside sources.
I have a friend who is training to be a Zen Buddhist and is living in the zen center here, and though when in person he is all smiles and zen, when he posts online it's always negative or about wanting something. Some day I want to compile all of his messages and show them to him. Maybe Oprah needs someone to do that for her as well, like she does for her guests.
You have written every single thing that I thought while attempting to watch that show. I had to fast forward through so many parts. I just said to my sister today, it must be very difficult to be so sure of yourself and what you think, like Oprah leads us to believe she is.
I felt so awful for the first woman that is losing her bakery and apparently her life savings. I was waiting for her to scream "You aren't helping at all!!" perhaps they should have scheduled her for the suze orman show today!! How in the world can you tell someone whose life is falling apart that the universe is trying to tell them something and they should be excited.... You have to be kidding me.
The "spiritual leader" with the braids is a joke as far as I can see, he seems like such a fraud.
I would hate to be a person that honestly expected to get something meaningful out of yesterdays show. I can't really not imagine having a problem and thinking well, by gosh I will ask the oprah "experts".
Tina
They moved on too quickly before they helped the bakery lady, but I think what they told her was right. There really is nothing for her to do but count her blessings, learn from the experience and move forward. They really should have had her on today with Suze too.
I like the way Oprah tries to get people to let go of things that have already happened and look forward.
Instead of everyone being critical and putting Oprah under a microscope that most of us would never be able to handle why don't each of you work on your own spiritual lives whatever that means to you.
IamSusie wrote:
"I like the way Oprah tries to get people to let go of things that have already happened and look forward."
I so agree with you, IamSusie. I think the most profound thing Oprah said was (I'm paraphrasing) any time you are holding on to what should be instead of accepting what is, of course you'll feel stress!
I also loved it when Oprah said "you think you got nothing to be greatful for, how about breath! You can breathe can't you? Without a machine! Start with that! And if you can't breath without a machine, you need to be greatful that there's a machine there helping you!"
Of course a lot of people don't like the idea of a billionaire telling middle class people they should be greatful for how wonderful their lives are, but what people forget is that Oprah started out the poorest of the poor and it was partly by applying these concepts that she was able to get through it. Oprah believes that what you focus on expands, so if you focus on how much you have, you will begin to have more, but if you focus on what's bad, more bad will come. This sounds supernatural, but it's actually very logical. If you are happy with your circumstances as they are, your attitude will improve, if your attitude improves you'll become more productive, more people will like you, you'll get a promotion. And then if you focus on that, the cycle continues. LO should spend all of 2009 applying this concept.
But there will always be those who will mock Oprah for her desire to share with the world what worked for her. The problem with giving advice is wise men don't need it, and fools wont heed it.
I couldn't watch most of the show. I watched the whole New Earth webcast series, which I enjoyed, but this seemed like an abbreviated version of that with different guests. Can you really solve people's spiritual dilemmas in less than one hour? I guess that's McSpirituality!
It does bother me when Oprah talks like she knows the answers. I think that she thinks she's clarifying what the expert has said for the viewer, but we usually get it without her help, thankyouverymuch. Why bother having guests when Oprah can tell us all the answers herself!
I think that lady losing her bakery was hoping Oprah was going to bail her out financially and was getting more bummed by the second when they started telling her to be grateful for what she has. Psychologically it wasn't working at all. When someone comes to you in pain they need some empathy before you start reasoning with them. Her distress was obviously so new and raw she hadn't had time to deal with rationally yet, and here are these rich fools not even acknowledging her pain first, just jumping in with great excitement over the wonderful opportunity life has just thrown her way. It was embaressing and I left right after that. It's basically the old saw "adversity builds character", but when we get slammed we usually need a little time to get over the suckerpunch/get our breath back before we can get resolute about it. I think spirituality is all about how much love you give to people and I wasn't feeling much love in that show, just alot of ego. I love reading this blog, LO, you attract the most interesting people.
Since my view of spiritual matters and O's are quite different, I won't say much except to reply to Robin: Try the salads at McDonald's. They're really good and good for you (if you get the grilled, not fried chicken.) :>)
Oh gosh -- I remember those "Remembering your Spirit" segments. Absolutely loved them. I still remember a couple who were super in debt and they just sold everything or put stuff in storage, learned how to drive an 18 wheeler, and traveled the country working and living in their truck with their dog. I think of them every now and then and wonder how that all worked out. Thanks for reminding me of them, Robin!
Anonymous, I know it seems insensitive to tell people to be grateful right when life sucker punches them, but I think there might have been a method to Oprah’s madness.
About a decade and a half ago Oprah told a story about how she was going through a major crisis and she phoned Maya Angelou sobbing her heart out. And Maya Angelou said, “STOP! Say thank you!” Oprah thought Maya had lost her mind that she hadn’t heard or understood a word Oprah was saying. But it turned out to be one of Oprah’s greatest life lessons. For if in the middle of the crisis, if in the eye on the storm, if on the worst day of your entire life, you can say thank you and mean it sincerely, then you know you’re spiritually evolved.
TourGuide Jenn, I too loved the remembering your spirit segments that Oprah aired in the late 1990s. I remember one where a lady couldn’t afford to go to a fancy resort so she decided to turn her house into one. Every night she would get connected to her spirit by listening to power Opera music. She brought her mattress down stairs to sleep by the fire because it was more spiritual. During the day she would get all kinds of crayons and scribble beautiful spiritual colors on huge pads of paper. Then she would take a walk by the stream and just stand still looking at the water and trees and sometimes even touch the water. After seeing that I can’t pass by a tree without feeling spiritually connected.
On the first remembering your spirit segment Oprah showed how she remembers her spirit. They actually filmed her taking a bath covered in bubbles and lit candles and books all around her. Then when she dried off she would go down on her porch in the woods and just read and stare and the sun light on the green green leaves. It was powerful stuff, but eventually she stopped airing it, probably because it got bad ratings and some religous fundamentalist were complaining.
I purposely did not watch this episode. I told my husband that I feel bad for anyone who is going to watch Oprah to get spiritual advice. Also, I kind of think that the "idea" of a Best Life Week is a really good one but, honestly I'm not so sure what good a talk show can do at coaching people on living their Best Life. I have watched a lot of talk shows over the years and I'm often left with the feeling..."did they really help that person". I agree with you when you say the Oprah does a lot of talking. I often feel bad for the people on the show talking about their problems because they rarely get a chance to share their own opinions. I enjoy watching Oprah for entertainment purposes only. I do not get my spiritual advice or any other advice by watching her show. Now, don't get me wrong..Oprah has helped many many people and I love everything that she has done but, I do not look to her for guidance in my life. Sorry so long. :)
To me, a truly spiritually evolved person is very gentle to themselves and others.
Oprah seems self-loathing and self-destructive so I wouldn't look to her for guidance on spiritual matters.
I tuned out after the first woman. They did not even acknowledge her fears and pain. Instead of just jumping in and telling her to be thankful that she can breathe, how about Oprah sharing a story of a very low point in her life when she realized in spite of it all how many blessings she had and how she managed to rise above it.
(Money doesn't bring you happiness, but it sure helps to get you through those rough patches. It is hard, when you have NOTHING, to take advice from someone who has EVERYTHING)
As for being spiritually evolved--the people that I know who are truely spritual are humble. I don't think O truely is if she feels the need to teach us what her experts are already doing a fine job teaching.
As long as Oprah is involved with the type of show she has and the money it brings forth by all the expensive ads and crap in her show and magazine she will never have an opportunity to walk the talk she gives. That is why she seems disconnected from what she is saying and disconnected from her weight and her body. She talks about it as if it were something that she has to fight all the time.
In reality, it is just like anything else, something you have to control from within. I soo remember the liquid diet from the 80's.
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= RELIGION VS. FAITH
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Religion is making-up a god to fit your definitions and image.
Faith is listening to what God has already communicated, living according to God's standards and being transformed through His power.
The Oprah message is just another "religion" - a really nice man-made belief system having no bearing on God's teachings.
Jesus was the Prince of Peace and embodiment of God in flesh - able to feed thousands with nothing, heal the sick and bring the dead back to life. His message was simple; God is inviting you into His Kingdom. But people reject Him because they want religion "their way" instead of "God's Way"
Those people who have overcome their same-sex compulsion and restored their heterosexual nature, describe homosexuality as a compulsion, similiar to alcoholism or drug addiction. I would not consider that a DIVINE RIGHT and the Bible clearly puts it into the category of sin.
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