...but I can't help myself today.
Be forewarned: I was incredibly upset by this morning's show. You may wonder how on earth I could let an episode all about beauty secrets from around the globe get under my skin. Well, I'll tell you...but first, I want to temper what I'm about to say by admitting that over the course of this project, I've developed a deeper respect for Oprah as an entertainer-interviewer. But today, boy oh boy, did I think she missed the target by a mile.
My first eye twitch occurred when Oprah thought it was amazing and amusing that Brazilian women go on payment plans to afford their breast enlargements and other plastic surgery. Um...hello? Women do that here, too. I mean, I'm on a payment plan for my gazillion dollar back brace because insurance doesn't cover enough of it. And when we applied for our medical credit, we saw that you could choose these plans for just about any medical procedure you might like. From cancer treatment to a nose job. Also, the guest said that Brazil is second to the United States in plastic surgery rates and yet the South American country was displayed as if they corner the market on cosmetic surgery. Hello Pot? This is Kettle. You're black.
Eye twitch number two: Oprah made a joke at the expense of Iranian women who wear bandages on their noses to pretend they've had nose jobs. The show made it appear as if everyone single woman (I'm sure this was overstated) in that country hated their faces. Regardless of how many Iranian gals are unhappy with their noses, many of them feel like they must have their profiles changed under the knife. And instead of looking at how sad it is that women would prefer to have a bandage on their un-cut faces, rather than let anyone know they can't afford the surgery, instead it was turned into a comic moment. (Side note: when I was in 5th grade, I used to put paperclips in my mouth so people would think i had braces. Sadly, a year later, I got braces of my own and boy, oh boy, had I mistakenly romanticized THAT experience).
Imagine now that I start to growl at the TV until Jim asks me if I'm ok: Another country's idea of beauty was turned into entertainment for Oprah's audience. There was a focus on Mauritania, which is in northwest Africa. In this country, women are obsessed with gaining weight, rather than our American fixation on losing it. This is interesting and sad, I thought. Anytime a woman feels like she needs to change her body to snag a husband, I find it depressing. And yet, Oprah kept making the joke about how great it would be to live there where obesity is honored, rather than thin-ness. Ok, one joke about it I might have been able to stomach, but it was ceaseless. I thought it was especially insulting because we'd just seen video of young girls being force-fed until their stomachs couldn't hold anymore. These girls end up vomiting and then the force-feeding begins again. This is how they make themselves marriageable. So, weight is a status symbol there as it is here. Is it any better? NO! It's still sick pressure that women have to look a certain way. It's not funny. In fact, knowing how many medical troubles that obesity causes, I don't think any jokes should be made on the topic whatsoever.
And then, steam shot out of my ears and made a sound like a train whistle (yes, I grew up on Roadrunner cartoons, why do you ask?): Oprah shouted out, "I think this has been the most enlightening show I've ever had!"
Oprah said what we learned today is that beauty is basically in the eye of the beholder. This is not even remotely the message I received from the show. What I saw is that a woman's beauty is defined by the culture in which she lives. And no matter where we happen to reside, women are under a huge amount of pressure to look a certain way, no matter what the health detriment or cost.
I did not see much to celebrate on the show today. Just examples to mourn and then suck it up and fight to change the status quo with all my strength. (For those interested, Oprah mentioned a Dove campaign to mentor 5 million girls on the issue of self-esteem. I'm not always thrilled by joining corporate campaigns, but I'm going to look into this)
I also felt as if Oprah's final words insinuated that she always celebrates the beauty of women, no matter what their definition of beauty might be. WHA-?!?! (Imagine here that I actually explode and Jim looks upset when he realizes he has A LOT to clean up tonight). With past episodes about the science of beauty, "schlumpadinka" makeovers, hair/makeup/age adjustments for ambushed women. How on earth is that a display of respecting each individual's choice? Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not completely anti-makeover show...but let's be honest. Oprah's own show has defined beauty for it's viewing culture.
And as we've all experienced varying degrees of stress to look a certain way, who are any of us to place that pressure on one another? What's it going to take to stop this vicious cycle? I think Oprah has the platform to do this and I hope with every fiber of my being that she commits to it.
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Good for you! I agree entirely. Not to mention there was just so much mis-information about how to help your skin. I didn't finish the episode.
Wouldn't it have been good to watch a show about beauty around the world, and instead of focusing on physical attributes she asked questions like:
What brings you peace?
What sound lifts your heart?
Which scents cause your muscles to relax?
What texture brings you joy?
Is there a sight that soothes your soul?
Is there a taste that brings you comfort?
And then sit back and watch as the guest's eyes light up, their faces relax and their smiles grow.
Because isn't that what real beauty is - a genuine smile due to the joy of remembrance?
I didn't see the entire show today. I only caught some of the interview with the woman from Mauritania.
I have a lot of respect for the woman (Oprah), but I didn't like her today.
She knows how to be polite, but there are certain things that amuse her or make her laugh, that only show how far from reality she is.
I've noticed that she can't pick sides, and she often gives mixed messages. One day it's about embracing her looks, the next day she says she has fat arms. Even the shows that deal with sex, genitalia, etc. proof how unprofessional she can be. She claims to be open to many ideas, but if that's the case then why does she laugh like a 10 year old when some topics come up? I think doctors can usually keep a straight face, and they can be professional. I don't like how she's unable to talk about some things with respect.
Based on what you said, I have to agree. It could have been a very good show, but I think she didn't accept the challenge.
And by the way. You always talk about her interviewing skills. I haven't read all of your post, so maybe you talked about it before. I honestly think that she relaxes too much in front of the camera. Her Tarzan yell, her laughs, her repetitions. I believe she does it, because she feels relaxed and very sure of her skills in front of camera. I'm not sure, she was the same way 10 and 20 years ago. And yes, I can say that many of her shows are very good. But as an interviewer, or a talk show host, I don't think someone should be this relaxed. She really needs to prepare more, she really can't forget to stay professional, and she can't take sides, she should be more objective.
Wow...I enjoyed reading your take on the show, MUCH more than the few minutes I saw. I turned my head away watching those girls being force-fed...and turned it off a few minutes after. I too, was taken aback by Oprah's joking about the subject. A very mixed message.
Even if I don't catch the show, I read you blog every day....FASCINATING! And it makes me watch the show differently. Great project!!!
Oh my gosh, LO, I had the same horrified reaction you did! Oprah seems to think that the lesson of today's show is "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder", but what I got out of it is that, for women, there is no corner of the world where we can escape cultural expectations to be beautiful.
Even in France, where they supposedly embrace aging, the French reporter tells us "Yes we have women in their 60's who are still considered very sexy." Lord Almighty, even in my 60's I'll still have to look and be sexy?!? When can I get a break!
Oprah took the completely wrong tone with this show which could have been more serious about people in those cultures who "find their own truth" and "live their own authentic lives" in the midst of absurd cultural expectations.
I think the show is suffering because Oprah says she tapes 4 shows a day. She really seems to be off her game and going through the motions.
I went from watching this show to reading my other favorite blog by Roger Ebert who writes today about going through life looking fat and not really letting it bother him. Ebert writes, "I do not dwell on my appearance. I have bigger fish to fry." Hooray Roger!
Here's the link to Roger Ebert's blog: http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2008/11/siskel_ebert_the_jugular.html
theparakeet, you're not lining up for the birdpoop, then?
robin, sing it sister! the question i ask of everyone, INCLUDING myself, is are we ever going to be entirely willing to change our definition of beauty? i love the beauty of the senses idea, by the way. so nice.
sam, it's these mixed messages which we most difficult for me to handle about 1/2 way thru the year. different issues hit me at different times. for some reason, all the contradictions were what depressed the beejeebers out of my about 4 months ago. i'm glad you brought them up as i think i tend to get a little numbed to them now. oh - and just to be totally honest, i think oprah has her good interviews and her bad ones, i've definitely not joined one camp or the other on this one. it's interesting what you've mentioned about preparation...i agree...but also wonder if she's spread so thin that studying up on a topic isn't even possible for her anymore. what do you think?
jennifer, wasn't that image of the girls HORRIBLE? i actually felt it was a human rights issue. you know, here in chicago, foix gras was outlawed for some time because of its cruelty to geese. i wish we could get as passionate about the forcefeeding of girls.
iamsusie, thanks for this link. i like RE so much. i read it and realized everything he said he thought about weight was the exact OPPOSITE of how i felt about my own body when i was heavy. i was crushed by it - physically, mentally, spiritually, you name it. i loved the way he looked at it. of course, there is a double standard when it comes to men/women and weight. (LOL on your comment about being sexy at 60...personally, i'm hoping i'm FINALLY sexy in my 60s)
xo
LO
So funny that you mentioned the word Schlumpadink (sp?) I called myself this the other day in front of my husband and he asked me what I was talking about. I explained that it's an Oprah word for women who aren't dressed up and are kind of frumpy. He was then genuinely pissed off. He told me how Oprah has no right to judge women who work as hard as we do (I'm a stay at home mom of 3 kids) w/out all the help she has and how totally out of touch she is. This made me realize two things 1) I have a wondeful husband who doesn't care if I wear sweats and old tshirts everyday because he loves me and 2) Oprah doesn't really lift anyone up as she aspires to, she really just makes people feel like they constantly need to be fixed. What ever happened to being happy w/ where you are in the moment?
LO I must respectfully disagree with you about today’s show. I think it would have been incredibly inappropriate for Oprah to lecture a poor country like Mauritania about the pressure their women are under to be fat. I think these Islamic countries are already lectured and condescended to enough by the West, and are already disparaged enough in the Western media. I actually thought it was extremely open-minded of Oprah to look at a culture that most Americans would judge as disgusting and horrific and actually celebrate it as one of the few places where overweight women have value. I think a lot of overweight women in America will watch that show and smile when they think of Mauritania as they remember Oprah joyfully singing “there’s a place for us” and maybe, just maybe, they will open their heart to a part of the world that has been so demonized over the last 8 years. I think Oprah’s goal is always to get people to open their heart to those who are not accepted by American culture (i.e. pregnant man) even if it means overlooking the very negative aspects of their culture (i.e. force feeding young girls).
I do think you make an excellent point about women all over the world being under pressure to look a certain way, but today’s show wasn’t the place for that discussion. I think the point of today’s show was simply to expose beauty as a social construction and show that there are alternatives to the Western standard of beauty.
anon, Jim gets the same way about Oprah's appearance-related show! and i think your husband is lovely! how sweet of him to say/feel what he did!
morepower, i do appreciate your interpretation, but i do think oprah doesn't have too much fear about offending anyone when it comes to human rights. when she feels strongly about an issue, she fights for it, no matter how many audience members she might lose or feathers she might ruffle. i'm sad to say i agree with an earlier poster who feels maybe the amount of shows oprah's doing these days is watering down her ability to connect to each subject with the full attention she used to. i think she's been much stronger with these issues in the past. i think she was expecting a show that truly was about "beauty secrets" but the footage that was shown didn't support the mindset she had when she started shooting. I DO agree with you that it's always important to open Westerner's eyes to other ways beauty is defined. i think that was the intention Oprah had for the show. but instead of appreciating everyone's definitions, i felt saddened by the pressure that women are under - no matter on which continent they reside.
xoLO
For me, things like the piece on Mauritania really show how hard it is for people to try and go against their natural body type. Studies have shown this time and time again, but it is HARD for people who are naturally not heavy to become so - they have to eat a huge amount consistently, and their bodies want to revert to their natural state.
We really don't believe that in the US, despite all of the evidence, so we have thin men and women getting exhorted to 'eat a sandwich!', and heavier folks getting tons of shame for being heavy. (Acknowledging here that force-feeding is very different than these kinds of emotional pressure.)
I think that this show let itself sink into 'hah! that's different - it's so weird! hee!' territory, and I agree that when you're laughing at a culture, you aren't really embracing the idea that they have a valid alternative standard of beauty. It could have been a lot more.
I honestly think everyone is taking this way too seriously. The purpose of the show was to talk about what beauty is in other parts of the world and that's what she did. I thought it was fascinating to be reminded that beauty can't be defined because if it could, the standard would be the same all over the world. I don't understand why being or desiring to be physically beautiful is such a tragedy. Sure, it can be taken to the extreme just like anything in the world, but I think women have a fascinating gift of physical beauty that can be very powerful. I don't think that means we have to be any less intelligent. To many men and women, being well spoken and smart is more attractive than how smooth your skin is...
Also, I find it interesting that you were so upset about her poking fun at some of the cultures and implying she was not being respectful, but equally as irate for not passing judgement on another culture.
Just something to think about from another perspective :) And for the record, I agree the forced feeding was very sad and disturbing...
hello! i just began reading your blog and i really enjoy your insight to the show. i agree with many of your observations. i'm definitley going to be reading this blog everyday! great job!!!
I am a huge fan of Oprah Winfrey, but I don't hold her show to the standards other "posters" and bloggers do.
Sure, I thought the show was entertaining, but honestly, it was skin deep, very superficial. What Oprah show isn't? I mean this is just in alignment with the kind of show Oprah has when she has a "family-who-has-to-cut-down-on-their expenses" episode where the husband makes $8,000 clear a month. I guess if you're a billionaire like Oprah, $8K a month is chump change, but I have to say this show was in the same category.
What's the real message here? Who defines beauty? Why is this so important to women to appear a certain way? Why can't a woman look the way she wants? Isn't the whole thing about liberation, the essence of choice?
I think the show would have been far more interesting if Oprah interviewed women who defied their individual cultures' definition of beauty and defined their own sense of themselves.
All I can say after this show is that Oprah may do things to empower women (and sometimes she does!) she really hasn't gone far enough with her own body image to get past the "skin deep" level.
The Dove "Campaign for Real Beauty" is interesting. The whole idea is that they show "normal" women using their products, instead of "fake" models. The campaign also warns parents to filter what their children see in the media as perceptions of beauty. This sounds all nice and dandy, but as you mention, this is run by a corporation. What is their ultimate motive...? Profit, of course! American corporations have LEGAL OBLIGATIONS to their shareholders! Is "self-esteem" really their priority? Isn't it just another [brilliant] tactic?
Also, consider this: the parent company of Dove owns the company that makes Axe...you know, that deodorant spray with the commercials of scantily-clad women going gaga for guys who use Axe. What does this tell us...?
Modern Access platforms are designed and tested with durability in mind. Several of the more popular manufacturers rigorously test their units, simulating over 15 years of everyday use.
I struggle with my own self image every single day, every time I look in the mirror, change my clothes, walk out the door, pretty much every time I move.
How dare she be so callous about such an important topic for women. We are at a point of crisis with how we feel about ourselves. Instead of celebrating all the crazy things women do to make themselves feel comfortable with themselves, she could have called attention to what a huge battle it is and how pointless it is.
It's not ok that there are women being force-fed. It's not ok that there are women who drink collagen. It's not ok that we have a culture of eating disorders. It's not ok to make light of such a serious issue that women are litterally killing themselves to get the validation that they so desperatly seek.
I'll get off my soapbox, it just irratates me that instead of celebrating who women are exactly as they are, we're mocking the deeper issues.
Hear, hear LO!
Nikki, you are so right. Allow me to share the story of why I do not buy Dove products.
(Originally posted on my Livejournal on 4/16/07:)
So it's Monday morning and I'm dragging my reluctant ass to the office. As I turn the corner and the plaza in front of my office comes into view, I see it.
It's not unusual for this plaza to be rented out for public events or publicity stunts--for example, the cranberry bog erected by the Ocean Spray folks a while back. (Seriously. There were even people in hip waders sloshing around with rakes. It was glorious.) Rapper Lupe Fiasco once did a short concert out there, and it hosts several annual art fairs. However, today's happenings definitely take the cock--I mean, cake.
There, in front of a most presentable office building, is a five-story inflatable bottle of Axe Clix Deodorant Spray. Nothing quite like an enormous phallus outside your workplace to kick off the week. And on the "cap" of the bottle is emblazoned--I kid you not--"Now With Added Bom-Chicka-Wah-Wah."
I roll my eyes and trudge into the building. Lunchtime rolls around, and I go down to get something to eat. On my way back up I see the giant "deodorant" through the front windows and notice that there has been an addition to the display. Near the bottom of the black inflatable is an enclosed but visible hollow space, creating a bouncy little room much like those castles that kids jump around in at carnivals. Bouncing in this particular area, however, are young women wearing tight t-shirts and cheerleader skirts. Feminism in downtown Chicago has just been set back by about 15 years. And in front of my very own office!
To cap things off, let's pause for a moment to consider that the Axe line of products is made by Unilever--the same folks who make Dove, with its ever-so-lauded "Campaign for Real Beauty."
Anyone else pissed off yet?
As I watched the show, I was struck with the superficiality of it all. I always enjoy seeing how women in different cultures approach life, but this episode seemed so pointless.
LO, your blog entry clarified my discontent. After viewing this episode, I didn't feel more accepting of my own 'beauty'. Rather, I felt that after all our enlightenment, someone like Oprah reminded us that beauty may still be only skin deep.
What a pity.
This brings to mind a study I read about years ago (can't remember where) that found that across cultures and time differences, beauty has one constant: Whatever wealthy people can afford to be and poor people can't is beautiful. So beauty is found in toned, tanned bodies in our culture where leisure is used to work out in gyms and lie by the pool. In the past, Western culture has valued fair, plump women because the wealthy didn't have to work in the fields and get tanned; they could lie around and eat. This phenomenon has been shown to be true in other cultures as well; it's probably why a poorer country such as Mauritania values fatness, as only the wealthy can afford to over eat.
I only saw part of the first half, with the women drinking collagen and washing with bird poop, and I have to say something. Does it look like Oprah's had work done? Her nose looks altered, the shape of her face seems more oval than round.
I personally don't think the women that I saw looked good. I thought their skin looked too thin, stretched too tight, and too shiny. It reminded me of this show I saw years ago on PBS about women and cosmetic surgery that followed one woman who had determined that in order to find her 4th husband and not be lonely anymore, she needed a facelift. Pre-facelift, her face had motion and expression and beauty. Post-facelift, it looked frozen. Her closest friend, a man, kept urging her not to do it. I think he was right.
A word about the desire for fat women in Mauritania. That is true in other parts of Africa, although I don't know if girls are forcefed everywhere, because a fat wife signals to everyone that you are a prosperous man. It also signifies health in a continent devastated by AIDS, known as "the wasting disease" to Africans.
I know we keep talking about how the media wants us to think a certain way, but have you ever seen a real live woman with a facelift or breast augmentation? They don't look like real people up close. The facelifted woman I saw looked preternaturally startled, and the two breast augmentations I've seen look ridiculously balloonish. I suppose all this translates on tv much better than in person. These women don't look better, and I'm sure the men in their lives agree with me.
Oprah has been part of the photographed celebrity world for a long time, and she sees herself in magazines, and puts herself on the cover of a magazine, and she judges how she looks by that. What's good for print and media is cartoonish for real life.
LO - can you believe my stupid DVR forgot to record this show?! Thank you for the detailed recap. From what I've read, it sounds like your conclusion that society plays a significant role in determining appearance is dead on. However, it probably would have been enlightening to see the pictures/videos of how the women around the world are treated/seen. I am sure this won't be the last of episodes like this!
I hardly ever get to see the show, and mostly "see" it through your summaries every day. But I happened to be sitting home and this show was on. I just knew it was steaming you up. I am surprised you didn't comment on how Oprah kept wanting the girl from Mauritania to say that women were happy with their overweightness. That may be so, but all that is is an inverse of our problem. In Mauritania, women are UNHAPPY if they are SKINNY and the pressure is on them to be fatter. It's still pressure to change how you look. But Oprah kept trying to prod that girl to say that women there were Ok with how the looked. I am sure the heavier ones are. That probably ticked me off more than anything else... that she tries to manipulate through her questions to get the answer she wants to prove the point she wants to make.
LO, I know this is an extremely busy year for you, but I hope that when it's done you'll have some time to take a look at The Obesity Myth by Paul Campos, or really any number of Health at Every Size related blogs her on the internets.
You cannot tell by someone's weight how healthy they are or are not, and it is virtually impossible to maintain a weight either higher or lower than your biological set point.
Health is a great thing to pursue. Thinness as a way to health is a cultural myth.
I hope that comes across the way it's intended, I love your project and read regularly, although I rarely comment.
Cape Cod here... wondering why everyone is so upset by the force-feeding, but nobody commented on the girls who have their skin sliced so it scars, all to attract a husband...? I am horrified by both of these, and other physically and emotionally damaging rituals that are performed on humans without their consent. But I have to say, as for the collagen drinking and the poop face washing and the implants (etc.), these ADULT women decide to do this to themselves. It's not Oprah's fault, and she's not endorsing it. Now, if you want to talk about how stupid Oprah looks teetering around on those ridiculously expensive high heels that are crippling her feet – I am all in! LO – happy T-day in New England!
grrr! Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Working at this university I see so many girls who are struggling with their weight, not the need to lose it, but the lack thereof! It's a huge thing here - these girls and their boniness, it's just so shocking! I want to hold them and tell them how beautiful they are and feed them and tell them to punch anyone who makes a comment about weight or looks because truly beauty is on the inside, not on the out. Has anyone seen Nicole Kidman lately? She looks plastic! She's been mannequinized! But she has such a lovely soul about her. Why did she have to fall under the Botox needle? Because of this shitty attitude that we women have about ourselves.
I, of course, could not do the birdpoop. As a bird, that would just be weird.
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