"I want you to look around your house right now. Is it messy? Is it disorganized? Are there piles of stuff laying everywhere?" I looked. You know, there are a few, but it's not so bad. Just signs of a really busy lifestyle that leaves little time to worry about some clutter during the week. Still, would I want the Queen of England to pay me a surprise visit? Not really. I'd prefer to neaten up first.
It really is my dream to have a home that is always neat and clean so I wouldn't wince when someone does a drop-by visit. (And, um...what's up with drop-by visits? Can we talk about how annoying THOSE are? You hearing this, Queen of England? Enough dropping by without calling first.) I'm not so sure that's entirely realistic, but I'm ready to try Peter Walsh's new program, designed for Oprah's show.
Oprah says, "Here's the guarantee"... In 6 months, we will have clutter free homes by May if we follow Oprah's Clean Up Your Messy House Tour. There is a contract to sign and a step-by-step strategy to follow. And yes, there is a goofy theme song that goes along with this program. Even Oprah seemed taken about by how silly it was. Poor composer!
While the state of the world is in constant upheaval, Oprah believes we can always "control your own environment." She was very taken aback by people's messy houses and indicated that an out-of-control home indicates an out-of-control life. I used to believe this, because it's what I kept hearing on this show, but now I'm not sure. I feel like this could be said about anything - out-of-control eating is an indication of an out-of control life or out-of-control kids, finances, work, etc indicate messy minds. I think to some extent, these are absolutely symptoms of much deeper problems, but I don't think they can necessarily be blanket statements that apply to EVERYONE. Maybe I care more about spending my valuable time in a yoga class than with a Swiffer in my hand. Actually, I could combine the two activities - cleaning and yoga - and patent it. I'd make a fortune. Organizoga!
While Oprah was a bit judgmental about the ambushed guests' homes because she doesn't have that dilemma, she even said, "I have a lot of other issues." Don't we all.
You know, I am so tired of comparing my home to the "after" examples we see on the show...or in gorgeous photos in lovely home magazines. Those rooms were cleaned and dressed and decorated by a team of workers. I don't think it's realistic - unless we have a housekeeping staff - to live up to this at all times. Still...it does give us a goal if we can take this advice as guidance, rather than judgment about our own priorities.
But, I also have to wonder about the word "control." It's preached at us quite often and it's beginning to feel constrictive to me as I'm coming to the end of this year. How much control do I need to exert? With my perfectionist tendencies, I think it might be healthier to give up some control than keep striving toward complete world dominance. Frankly, the more I surrender some of my tight control, the happier I am. Now, that is the deep work for me.
Oprah does say, "I know your home should rise up to meet you." I am going to really consider what that means to me instead of wondering if Oprah - or my mother-in-law, or the Q of E, for that matter - would wince if she entered my front door.
We were told, "If you're ready to clean up your messy house...sign up at Oprah.com and join our tour. You'll receive monthly homework assignments. Don't overwhelm yourself. Don't try to turn in your assignments early. Just, stay with the program, ok?" I'm ready. I'm willing. I am not so sure if I am able, but a gal can at least try, right?
You'll notice, if you go back to the link for the Clean Up program, there is a link to snapfish.com to create a free album if you sign up by Friday, I think. This is cool and I'm totally going to do it as Oprah said, "If you're ready to clean out the clutter, you're gonna like this." In addition to that deal, the Container Store is also offering 20% off purchases at their store if we buy within a week.
(IMAGINE SCREECH OF BRAKES HERE)
What?! I don't want to buy overpriced containers, even at 20% off! Don't get me wrong...I LOVE ME some Container Store, but they are going to make a fortune from this. I've worked retail, I know how much items are marked up - 20% off is not going to make them blink. It's brilliant marketing and we'll be sending the CEO's kids to college, or getting them new cars, probably.
Another financial issue that took me by surprise is the "really" inexpensive chandelier that was used on today's show in a guest's apartment. It was $349 from Pottery Barn. Cheap for a nice lighting fixture? Perhaps. Cheap for a gal who wonders if she can afford the eggs at the grocery store? Nope.
You know what I would adore? I'd like to see one of these shows go into a surprised guest's home, declutter and redecorate ONLY with what's already in the house. No paint, no Container Store, no new appliances from Lowes. Just use the resources that are already within the walls of the home. I think that's a show I might really learn from.
Oprah let us all know that Peter Walsh would be out with the Oprah Show brigade of de-clutterizers. She warned us: "So, if somebody shows up at your door and says 'Peter sent me,' do not let them in." I'm adding that to my assignment list, because it was given as a directive, but I can't imagine I'll need to use it.
I always rewatch the show so I can make certain I've caught everything. I'm writing now, however, only having seen it once since I'd like Jim to watch with me tonight when he gets home from work. I always regurgitate Peter Walsh's rules at him, but I think if he sees/hears the advice from the horse's mouth (sorry Peter), it'll be more effective.
Isn't it odd that TV somehow validates information we already know? What on earth is up with that?
Note: I might be editing this post after I rewatch the show, if I catch anything I've missed or errors I've made. Sorry for those of you who subscribe - I hope you're not bothered by two of the same posts. My apologies if that happens.
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40 comments:
Good God, it wasn't enough we had to worry about those 2 English women accosting us in public places about our momjeans, now we have to fear opening our doors? Actually, why don't they all come at once, that would really make a show worth watching..... After they picked Oprah off the ground (having fainted at the mere sight of me in my flannel shirt over sleep tee over knit pj bottoms over baby blue scuffs -- all together now: SHLUMPADINKA!!), whatshisname could look aghast at my semi-cluttered home and wonder aloud at the fact I get 8 hrs. sleep every nite, Dr. Oz could draw a sad face in the dust on my Bowflex, Joel Fuhrman could stand there with the freezer door open and weep at the Nestle ice cream cones lying amongst the salmon filets, boneless/skinless chicken breasts and bags of Thai green beans, Suze could run screaming from the house upon seeing my charge card standing up in the top row of my pc keyboard, while Nate, dear Nate, could just stand there and look cute. Oh Mighty Oprah, please save me. I have few of the things you say I should and many you say I shouldn't. Why am I content? Why do I sleep so well? Why do I have so much love in my life when I'm so deficient by your standards? Alas, we may never know.........
I don't ever get to see Oprah, but I enjoy your blog nonetheless. And here's the thing, last year I spent huge amounts of time clearing out clutter, space by space. I'm not a collector/hoarder, but still found I had 3 casseroles, duck-shaped baskets and tablecloths I no longer liked. The only things I kept were things I either loved or needed (really). It is such a great feeling to open a drawer and find what you want. And a whole level of heretofore-unknown anxiety is gone. It doesn't mean my house is CLEAN all the time, but I do believe that clutter is a form of anxiety.
Anonymous, You are so funny! It's just what I was thinking!
Part of the reason I don't watch O or other talk shows is because I'm fairly happy with my life and watching those things tends to bring on a load of discontent. Let's hope they don't stop here; I'll never let them in--I'd have to tidy up first! ;>)
However, if the Q of E stopped by, I'd let her in, clear a load of laundry off the couch and offer her a cup of tea. People with manners (safe assumtion Q of E is one) tend to ignore other people's short-comings and they don't gossip. So I wouldn't mind if She came--O is another story.
I am a first grade teacher and I would LOVE for Peter to come and show me how to de-clutter my classroom. How's that for a show idea?!?
A girl can dream....
Good God! This is exactly why I'm totally off of Oprah and boycotting her totally. Your run down of the show had me growling with irritation! It's just wrong on so, so many levels...
you all MAKE ME LAUGH!!!
anon - my favorite image is the dust on the bowflex. brilliant. and i love hearing women proclaim that they love their lives, without following THE RULES
riverlark, i totally agree that this does lower anxiety levels. i did this during the beginning of the year when Peter Walsh was on the show and i admit, i felt much better. but what i reaaaallly want to know is why on earth you had so many duck shaped baskets!!
dawn-michelle, come on, admit it - how on earth could you be happy when you refuse to be pressed into a mold? conventional wisdon says that's not acceptable! you must be beaten down!
betty, that is an awesome idea. now THAT i'd love to see. as many of you all know, my mom's a teacher and i can't imagine having to be a housekeeper at work as well as home. exhausting!!
wandering_coyote, i promise there was some good stuff. peter walsh is one of my absolutely favorite oprah experts. he's got some good stuff to share, i think. but you can definitely receive his message without turning oprah on each day.
xoLO
You said:
"You know what I would adore? I'd like to see one of these shows go into a surprised guest's home, declutter and redecorate ONLY with what's already in the house. No paint, no Container Store, no new appliances from Lowes. Just use the resources that are already within the walls of the home. I think that's a show I might really learn from."
You are sooooooooo right! I do that all the time:)
LO, I loved today's post. anonymous 5:04 and dawn-michelle have inspired me. remember that baz lurhman song, the "sunscreen" one?
-- to paraphrase: "never read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel bad about yourself." I used read Cosmo and its ilk, because "it was my guilty pleasure." But I was constantly plagued with thoughts of, "why am i still single? why can't i find a guy to practice these sex moves on?" so I did a LO-esque experiment, where I swore off beauty mags for a year: no buying, no peeking, nothing. and, surprise surprise, my constant self-loathing vanished, and my self esteem rose. yay!
*'scuse me, I loathe typos. I meant:
"I used TO read Cosmo..."
that's what talking for 8 hours will do, even when you proofed it once. sheesh. i need sleep.
etiquette beeyatch, i love your magazine experiment. i think we should all be doing this. they are SO crazily addictive. i went on a magazine detox for about 2 years once. it was AWESOME...then i slipped and totally got sucked back into the cycle of comparison. i'm going to do a MAJOR detox once this year is over. xoLO
the home spa goddess, i think it's fun, don't you? i love "refreshing" my surroundings. plus, it's nice to be creative and re-invent ourselves without spending a cent. xoLO
I totally heart the idea of going into someone's home and using what's there for a makeover. If you have all the money in the world to spend, of COURSE it will be fab at the end, but it takes a lot of creativity to turn a sow's ear into a silk purse.
layne, touche! are you creative? i bet you could make a fortune doing this for a living. call it Silk Purse Designs and go into people's homes and redecorate everything based on what they already own. xoLO
Home Spa Goddess, that's a perfect idea -- think what Nate could do with Riverlark's tablecloths and duck baskets, like drapes with duckbasket holdbacks.........
LO - definitely agree with your comment re: the team of workers coming in. But, I do find, embarrassingly, if I ask someone to help...I get TONS more done. Sometimes asking an outsider gives you perspective, and I think that is what will happen in all of the houses they make over. Overall, though, I enjoy these types of shows (however chaotic they are).
Oh, and even though I am not technically in DC I might consider signing up at O's site since they are coming there (and Atlanta) next!
etiquette B - just had to say that I LOVE that baz song. I have it printed out several places to remind me to recenter, and that sometimes things I take so seriously are really not that important :)
jax, i've never asked anyone to come help me clean. i think i'd be to embarrassed. i know that is not a good thing to have my pride attached so strongly to my apartment, but i had a gut reaction to the thought of it. ugh. hey jax - wanna come over and help me clean my closets? LOL.
omg - you should totally sign up for it. i'd love it if you got on!
EB - i forgot about your mention of the song. i don't know if i know it. i have one BL album. i'll have to see if it's on there. if not, i'll hit itunes.
xoLO
wait. i'm an idiot. i totally know that song. xoLO
Baz Lurmann lyrics @:
http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gary.hart/lyricsl/luhrmann.html
I love, love, love Peter Walsh. I wish he would start doing his TLC show again. I STILL watch the reruns.
Three cheers to Anonymous (comment 1) who was so funny I forgot my original point.
And funny you should mention the coming in and redecorating with what you have--of all people in the world, we had Bossy of iambossy.com come do that in our house circa 2003. For way, way cheaper than a re-decorator would do, she and her mom came in to our house, looked at everything we had, listened to everything we wanted (new baby was here, my parents' furniture was taking over, etc.), and they used our own stuff and some very practical additions (bookshelves and other storage shelves--the cheapies--from Ikea) to help us redesign our house for our new lives. It was awesome. And Oprah should totally do a show on that, you are right.
My original point of coming to comment: my aunt, who has 5 kids, has a spotless, beautiful home where everything has a place. They also have a motor home which is the same way (somewhat by necessity). And as much as I hate to admit it, as I am messy messy messy, I think there is something to it. I keep trying to figure out a system that will work for me and keep failing, which is why I need the help; I just don't have vision for systems at all. And I see past the crap. Alas, my poor husband does not; I truly fail him as a partner in this respect. And I would love not to but don't know how. So I'm looking forward to Peter's thing and if the website hadn't been crashing when I went, I would have already signed up!
You're right. It is unrealistic to compare what one person can do with little money to improve their home as opposed to Peter Walsh's VW cars lined up filled with helpers, Container Store, Pottery Barn and West Elm goodies, and experts from design tv shows. I'm glad you researched how much that "inexpensive" chandelier was. The minute the woman said it was from Pottery Barn and yet kept mentioning how inexpensive it was I knew she meant inexpensive for people who aren't living paycheck to paycheck.
I quickly skimmed your comments section and while I understand why some people do not read magazines or watch talk shows I do feel that to each his own. It depends what you take away from it. One could have watched today's show and concentrated on look at all the help these people got and all the free stuff. Another person could have watched and walked away with the free Snapfish offer and the 20% Container Store coupon. And a third person could have walked away with a new understanding of the underlying idea of all of this. I do believe that many people don't seem to understand, have time to realize, or care that their home environment is really a reflection of their inner selves. What did you say early on in this blog? Something about how we make gurus gurus and we help continue their empires or something along these lines. You can always walk away from Oprah's show with the underlying lesson/theme and not have to go out and spend a dime. It doesn't have to be about material items. You can walk away with a better understanding of life and pick and choose what you want to follow or not.
I can honestly say, that not having a room that fits my needs has been deliberating to me. When things would get more difficult, I would move around all the furniture. Within 1 year, I moved furniture 4 times, and I can honestly say, the flow changed for better. It's far from perfect, but it improved significantly I don't have much clutter, or too many things, just a space that is too small for someone who's married.
Even according to Feng shui, we need to change some decorations, furniture, etc every once in a while. It actually makes sense. As we grow older, as we have kids, change jobs, travel more, or whatever, we need different spaces that will allow us reach our full potential. Also how our things are arranged has an effect on the flow, which in turn affects our success and everything else we do.
This was a good show.
I dont think that a messy house is necessarily a sign of a messy mind. I think it is more a sign of how affluent our society is, coupled with how time poor we all are. I think we should examine how large our homes are, how many items of clothing we have, and how many toys our kids own. In the "leave it to Beaver" age, Mama June stayed home all day. The boys shared a room, and they didn't seem to own 43 pairs of shoes and 119 happy meal toys. Even my own childhood in the 1970's featured 1/16 th of the toys my kids have. Toys cost more in those days, I got one big box of crayolas that lasted years....Things have changed. I figure I could have a really clean house if I just applied myself. I think I will work it in with my free time, say between 3 and 5 am.
I don't think a messy "out-of-control" house is a sign of an out-of-control life. It could be. I'm fairly messy because I just can't be bothered...but it's within my limits of comfort (the mess). I choose to spend my time on other things and it doesn't feel out of control although my place is probably a little messier than 'it ought to be'. But then, that's not out of control is it? I choose to do things this way...I suppose if it grows over your head and you don't clean/tidy because you really can't find the time/headspace then it's out of control and it would be nice to have a team coming in and cleaning. (Not the putting it on TV part though...)
I feel that my clutter is a reflection that things are happening in my house and happy people live there. I do clean out our closets at least once a year and I always organize new things that come into the house, but this is stuff I love that I am working on. What do I care if you or some other visitor sees it in a pile somewhere?
I quit reading women's magazines when I saw a multipage article about what to do when you get lost. "Look at a Map!" "Watch for Signs!" "Ask for Directions!" "Plan Your Trip Ahead of Time!" were the various section headings. It was then that I realized how stupid and helpless women's magazines think we are and I never really read one again.
I don't read parenting magazines either. They always seem to focus on all the possible ways that my child is developmentally behind or could be killed or maimed by every possible unlikely hazardous scenario.
I get really,really annoyed with Peter Walsh's condesending tone of voice. It's as if he's giving tidying lessons to kindergarteners. Can you imagine if he used that tone with Oprah, telling her that she needed to unclutter her body of extra weight? She might just sock him one.
I love to de-clutter. Call me weird, I know. So, to Peter's first assignment, I just gave a small bag of clothes and towels out for donation and really, I don't have enough stuff in my house to throw away... okay, I should also confess that I am planning on a huge state to state move next year so I have been paring down for months. It really does feel nice to come home to a non-cluttered house. My husband used to call me the queen of FSS (Flat Surface Syndrome: if there's a flat surface, I'm piling it up with my crap... mail is the worst!).
In response to the suggestion about doing a show based solely on what was there. There used to be a show on BBC-America that did just that. The designer brought a small bag of goodies and the rest of the stuff (even paint) was found in the owners home and garage. I cannot for the life of me remember the name of it. It was years ago that I watched it.
I so agree with the comment that it would be more inspiring to watch a show where the person's own items were used. I found the first two "makeovers" more inspirational than the third because less outside stuff was brought in. The transformations were *almost* realistic. As for that chandelier, I also had a "Huhh?" moment when someone - Candace? Oprah? - said inexpensive.
I agree with Home Spa Goddess - let's see what these folks can do with the stuff I already have in my home. Who wouldn't love Peter Walsh to come in with his team of decorators and organizers and declutter and clean and decorate their home? It's like Nate Berkus. Love him, but he's totally unrealistic.
Well, I must jet, darling, I have a living room to rearrange that I am sure would make Oprah nervous to be in.
I don't really have to worry about Oprah dropping by since I don't have cable & therefore my tv doesn't work so I'm probably not her target demographic.
But just for amusement sake, here's my monologue:
I moved recently & am on a short term lease. This means a lot of my non-essentials are "in storage" (aka my 2 closets), I have a hoard of cardboard in 1 closet & my desk is the grad student dumping ground of research & papers. (ok my desk is inexcusably the result of being my last semester of grad school, I look like I robbed our library.) I giggle maniacally whenever I read or see tips on desk clutter b/c short of me moving into the library or getting a 2 bedroom apartment & using one room as an office, my desk will always be untidy.
My home is neat, organized & about as nicely decorated as possible w/my budget. I'm proud of my 1 bedroom apartment because it is a home & I'm not ashamed to have people come over.
Oprah & co would hate it. The only pieces of furniture i bought new were a bed & a couch. Most of my bedroom is taking over w/bookcases & my living room is dominated by my study area & a guinea pig cage.
Nothing matches & not in a shabby chic intentionally way. In that thrift store-meets-target-meets-wow-I bought-an-ikea-couch...Maybe throw pillows will pull this together way [is that a decorating style?].
My main wall decorations are museum prints I put in black frames (art work for 15$ total!) & photos of friends. There are cat toys everywhere & they sleep on the furniture adding a charming texture to everything. My tv is 10 years old & my stereo 15 (I'm 27). There's a bike parked in the kitchen. I have a penguin themed bathroom (there's no excuse for this). I'm overly pleased w/the fact I bought a collection of fiestaware over the course of several years & most of it is purple. One of my chairs is held together w/duct tape. Ah grad school chic. Next on the Oprah list of horrors, the complete list of casserole dishes you can make for under 5$!
The laundry is scary. Now this isn't really my fault, all the machines in my building are broken. Since I don't drive, any laundry place would involve taking the bus & transferring to another line. Yeah not doing that. My recycling is worse b/c we don't have recycling here so I wait until it's really bad & bribe one of my friends w/cookies to take me to the recycling center.
But hey I don't have the budget for container store or Oprah's favorite things. Come to my home & judge the lack of pier one/pottery barn & I will tell you to take your 5K of home improvements & ask you to apply it to my student loans. Everyone I know is broke anyway so they'd drool far more over the drop in the Debt of Doom then a pretty lamp.
Sure clutter can be bad but I don't know many people who will judge you over it.
Anon 10:49, that show was called "House Invaders" and I used to love it too!! It actually inspired me to buy a sewing maching and learn how to use it, though now that I have three dogs, we don't have as many nice cushions on the couches :)
I do have to agree with those to whom decluttering is soothing. I always feel better after a good purge and it is REALLY nice to be able to find things in the house! Plus, it helps me remember what I actually have.
I don't really find Peter to be condescending. I think he (as my old boss used to say) speaks the truth with love. I can't tell you how many times I've watched HGTV-type shows about people trying to move or sell their houses with my husband, only to have him say "they don't need a bigger house, they just need to get rid of all that crap." People just don't like to hear that.
Finally caught up with this episode, and one thing they never seem to address with all the "de-cluttering" is it isn't as easy as it looks.
If you have a LOT of junk to get rid of, it's not as easy as walking downstairs and shoving bags into a bunch of waiting VW Bugs. And it's not as easy as shoving your junk into your trash bin, especially If you're at all environmentally conscious...old electronics should be disposed of responsibly, useful items should be donated, big items probably need to be brought to a dump, and if you're someone who doesn't own a car, my god, all that can seem like an insurmountable task. (And to get someone to come out and pick up your junk can often cost money.) I can understand why some people would rather just shove it all under a bed.
So, I just wish these de-cluttering shows would acknowledge that when THEY aren't around to help, it can be a really difficult thing to do on ones own...
To the first commenter: Brilliant! Please send them all my way when they are done overhauling you.
I signed up. I feel a little crazy that I did. But I am home with a new baby and the clutter bugs me like it never did before, so Peter...here we go!
I think I'm in a very similar situation as Emily, in terms of school, loans, etc. However, for me it isn't very easy to do my work efficiently without having two separate spaces: 1 for sleeping and 1 for studying. a desk in my own living area would be a lot better, than a desk in my bedroom. I've been in this situation for too long now. Thankfully it's going to change in 2009.
Sam-that is so not fun. I had that in my last apartment & i was starting to go crazy. I basically stumbled out of bed & sat at my desk every day.
Typical of me. I did send a response but sent it to only God knows where?? Not unusual for me and although it can be mildly annoying sometimes at other times it works for me because I get to 'rewrite' which in turn can be a good or bad thing. Sometimes my re-writes are good, something not as good as my first response.
However, I just invested in a book called "A perfect Mess: The hidden benefits of disorder." After mentally beating myself up for years for not being 'organized' this book was liberating for me.
A quote of Einsteins on the back cover of the book pulled me in enough to buy it: "If a cluttered desk it a sign of a cluttered mind, what, then, is an empty desk?"
Now I know how mess works -- from a domestic scale to a global one. And I'm happy to live in mess -- from it flows more creativity and immagination.
Also, it takes us a lot longer to organize and stay organized at all times, than to find something when we need it from amongst our clutter.
I've been set free from feeling a failure to maintain order in my home. I was never going to be able to do it. Now I get to feel fine about it.
Oh, and about 'home organization experts' and using only what the homeowner owned to reorganize. Aparently they turned a warm, welcoming cluttered apartment into a shabby looking rather depressing 'decluttered space.'
So live with clutter. Or as Helen Razor said, "Live in flux, it hurts less."
Any mistakes, typos, grammatical errors in this response..well it's easier to say 'sorry' about them to spend my time editing.
After reading all the blogs, I don't understand why no one mentions the fact that Oprah can look down on these cluttered homes because she doesn't have to worry about hers -- people take care of it for her -- duh! What if it was up to her to have responsibility for her house, yard, car upkeep, pets, cooking meals, etc. etc.
And why do the biggest slobs on her shows get the nicest makeovers and freebies. Why not the ones who through no fault of their own can't keep up with the demands of their lives. That single girl was just lazy and uncaring. Why give her such beautiful living quarters when she most likely won't keep it taken care of.
I am tired also of Oprah giving us "advice" on living more frugally and handling our finances better. Excuse me, she is a billionaire. Is she living frugally?? I doubt it. How many homes do you need?
And I will not watch her favorite things show. It makes me nauseous watching all those greedy people be given thousands of dollars of items. Why them? Oprah tells us we all have too much stuff and then turns around and tells us we need more??
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