*Note: The title of today's post should be sung to the tune of "Tradition!" (Fiddler on the Roof)
"Find out how to get paid for doing what you love." Oprah said this in many ways, shapes and forms during the course of her show today. "Following your passion, allowing yourself to be paid for what you love will give you a meaningful life." and "Do what you love and the money will come."
I come from a proud history of artists and writers who have settled into the idea that we'll never get paid for our passion. We plug along, doing what we love for free, while trudging to a day job that pays the bills and, if we're lucky, offers dental insurance. I've always been grateful for that work and those paychecks, but they've never been entirely satisfying. I worked many day jobs in offices which didn't suit me and considered myself very lucky that I found a job I love - teaching yoga. And while I adore teaching with every fiber of my being, the arts and writing have always lit my fire like nothing else.
Today, I found encouragement in Oprah's words to keep on truckin' - keep making the work, performing my plays, writing my writing - and one day, I too, might make a living doing what I love. Of course, at this moment, I love studying Oprah, so maybe this encouragement isn't meant for me.
Oprah also said something to one of her guests that jumped out at me: "The best revenge is doing well." I loved hearing this, because it's what my mom always says to me. My mom's exact quote is, "Success is the best revenge." Her voice, saying those words, always goes through my head when I might fall into the trap of resentment. It keeps me moving in a really positive direction in life. I think my parents helped me develop into a when-life-gives-you-lemons-make-lemonade person. Go mom and dad!
Of course, you also passed along the complete-lack-of-direction gene that assures that I can't find my way out of a paper bag or to an address just 2 blocks away. Why be so cruel? It's embarrassing because my dad is a geographer. Why must I have such ironic DNA?!
Sorry. Stream of consciousness moment.
By the by, Jim and I are planning on painting our bedroom this weekend, as Oprah thinks we should all have a sleep-promoting color on our boudoir walls. Wish me luck. Sharing manual jobs like this one has the tendency to make us short-tempered with each other. Still, we're going to try to do this together and enjoy every moment. I think I'll avoid conflict be sticking to Oprah's advice to "be nice" and also that, "The truth of the matter is, men do need to be made to feel like they're winners. They do need to have themselves built up."
I've been practicing. Listen to this, "Oh wow! You are an AMAZING painter. You could do this for a living. Holy cow that is some brilliant brushwork. You're good at this because you are so big and strong. Whoa! This color brings out your eyes, tiger. I'm gonna have to fight the other girls off with a stick." What do you think? I'm hoping I can really sell it. Maybe if I don't say it in the baby-voice I've been practicing, he'll buy it.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
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16 comments:
....funny stuff, LO!
Good luck with that husband "bonding" time this weekend!
Betty
How about squeezing his bicep and exclaiming, in the baby voice, of course, "Hard as a rock!"
How is this for embarrassing: I'm the geographer, and for every trip, I allow getting lost time.
Good luck! Would love to see some photos of the finishes product!
E
Maybe you should paint quietly. My friend just showed me this article from O magazine about the book How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It. (http://www.oprah.com/article/
omagazine/200702_omag_improve_marriage/1)
I don't know if you've talked about the article or book before (not sure what issue it's from), but it rang true to me. The authors say women and men respond to stress differently physiologically, and thus talking helps women feel calm but can make things WORSE for men, which I've certainly experienced.
If that's the case, then anything we say to our husband or other male, thinking we're helping, is probably not helping at all! Help!
Some years ago, I started a business doing something I loved, and it turned out that doing it for pay made me not love it. Turning one's passion into one's income and client list can very easily kill one's passion, so I learned to my regret.
I felt like Oprah was really pushy with the millionaire dotcomer. Seemed like she really wanted him to say something nasty about the KIDS who were mean to him. Kids will find something to pick on you for, doesn't have to be a turban. Bravo to him for being above stooping to the level she wanted him to drop to! So much for all O learned with a New Earth huh...
And man, does anyone else want to go into customer service with me and work at Zappos?!
Oh see now I had to laugh about the comment regarding your sense of direction. My dad was a cartographer in Vietnam and his idea of a fun night is sitting around pouring over maps and highlighting new roads to take on his next trip.
As his daughter you'd have thought I would have picked up on some of this map know-how! The truth of it is, not a one, I get lost in my own neighborhood, or forget which freeways go where and generally don't have any sense of direction.
I LUV your blog. I've checked it everyday for the past 3 weeks but I've noticed the past 4-5 posts have been more interospective. Not that that's a bad thing but Is this because you're thinking about framing out your book more since the year is winding down? The tone this week seems to be more Oprah-stroking then in previous posts.
What about the akwardness between O and the O-twins? When Oprah isn't interested in her guests it's embarrassingly obvious. Unless her guest's names begin with Tyler and ends with Perry she's at a loss.
Thats all. Thx.
If my artsy life is anything to go by, we do alright with two things: trust that it will work out and recognizing opportunity when it knocks, no matter how odd it may seem to the folks with the 'real' jobs. For me, real poverty is not having time for my own work. You go girl!
Elly
How many minutes did O spend talking about the bagel? Really? Did the twins seem more human to us because they eat breakfast. That whole thing confused me.
About your lack of direction, I have the same issue. A very good friend (who happened to be a rocket scientist) accused me once of being, "so right brained". Turns out, you need to be a little less creative to have a good sense of direction. I bought a gps. Have a great weekend. Susan
lol at LO - can I borrow you to build up my hubby's self-esteem too? Actually, he is much too cynical to fall for any of that, which I'm guessing your hubby is like, also!
I have to agree with bonni, above, regarding the perils of turning a hobby into a job - it can be a fast way to hate your hobby! Sometimes, I think it's the struggle inherent in the unvalidated artistic process that helps to feed the fire of creativity. Art can be an escape, but if it's your job, there's no escaping it. Just my opinion.
I agree with my fabulous sister Hyperlexian Aspie that it can be way too stressful to take what you love and make it a career. Part of why I love some things is because I have ultimate freedom of choice about when I want to indulge myself, how often and for how long. I don't have to produce a specific amount of anything just because I'm being paid.
Having said that, I love my job for reasons I would never have even considered. My job is a scaler in an industrial/commercial bakery. Although this is far from glamorous, the reasons I love it are surprising to me. They are:
1. I get to have complete control over how to arrange my day and organize my time.
2. I can choose my start time within a three hour window (I prefer to start at 5am so I'm home by 1:30pm)
3. I get to sort/organize stuff all day. When I'm under stress I start becoming a bit obsessive about not having things in order. If I'm away from work too long (like a four day weekend) and under stress, I'll do something like re-fold all my undies, color-coordinate them and arrange them by size. I need to sort to stay calm and I sort all day at work.
4. I can control the pace of my work. I don't have anyone breathing down my neck watching my time or telling me what to do. As long as the day's work is done, they leave me alone to do it.
5. No customer service. AT ALL. The only people I have to deal with are co-workers and I can ignore them if I choose. (Clearly, I'm not always a people-person)
6. I exercise all day. I seem to have too much adrenalin sometimes and feel headachy if I don't get rid of it. At my job I'm routinely lifting/moving/scaling 20kg (50lbs) items. I feel energized from the physical activity. And on the days I feel sluggish I can ask for help to do some of the larger things.
I didn't know all this existed in one job before I worked there. I love it, I feel happy every day that I get to go to this place (in a uniform that feels like pajamas) and sort, lift, organize and control my universe. And they pay me for it!
My mom told me once that there are two aspects to every job: what you are actually doing and the environment you are doing it in. I love both, but you couldn't describe measuring ingredients as something I loved to do and wanted to make a career out of it.
So maybe look at working from a different perspective: you are selling your time, do you feel at peace with your choice? If not, what bits would you change to feel better?
"Ironic DNA" -- love that! Amen to painting quietly. I enjoy painting, find it very relaxing because it IS such a quiet, focused activity. Every guy I've ever painted with said he enjoyed painting with me because of it. This whole idea of following your passion and the money will flow is weird to me. The passion is in the doing, the spiritually is in "just being", neither one has any relation to money/material things. You can follow your passion to awaken your spirituality, you can work in a factory and find it just as easily (and get your dental), but this trend of following your passion for material reward is confusing people. AND it's one more thing that makes them feel "I'd be happy if only I could...", one more thing to make people feel deficient because they work a regular, "uninspired" job. Wonder if Oprah (whom I do like) has any clue as to how much, in her supposed efforts to make people happier, actually makes them feel lousier about themselves on a daily basis. LO, you have such good instincts, don't by into her philosophies, she's goofier than heck. : )
hey LO! love your blog! what did you think of the olsen twin interview?? i saw a clip on jezebel, what was the deal with the breakfast question, i know they do not really do much but come on! oprah kinda seemed bored.
Hope the painting is loads of fun! haha!
Hey LO
Just wanted to say as a fellow writer/playwright that you should keep living your passion. Sure there are times when I think WTF am I doing(especially when someone asks me how much I earned for a play - never EVER break it down to an hourly rate!!)
But almost as quickly I thank whatever-you-may-believe-in that I actually have a passion. Imagine life without it - no thanks!
I thought the Olsen twins interview was awkward and forced as well. But I don't think it's because they don't do anything. I think they are just shy. They were put into show business and became famous before they were old enough to make that decision for themselves. Being in the public eye may be forcing them to do something they are not cut out for.
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