Well, I woke up and started the anti-anxiety "program" I found on Oprah.com yesterday. So far so good. The first item on the list was actually my favorite - to spend several seconds thinking of something nice I can do for myself. I basically let myself off the hook from completing the million-and-one errands that I usually pack into Thursday (which is my one day off in the week). I popped out of bed and, as instructed, drank two glasses of water. I've been peeing like a racehorse ever since. I know. TMI. Sorry.
Today's show was a rerun with some "real life" married couples, followed by the cast of Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married? At one point, Oprah said to Perry and co-star Janet Jackson, "Isn't it a wonderful thing to have all your dreams come true?" I stopped my Best Life Challenge exercise short for a moment. I don't think there are many human beings on this planet who could possibly utter these words. Even Jackson mentioned she still had some dreams to accomplish. Maybe Oprah's alone in the Complete and Utter Fulfillment category.
But is this a good thing? I thought about this one for a while - you know, as much as I have goals and dreams for the future, I don't actually know if it's so "wonderful" to have them all come true. For me, striving toward dreams keeps me going. I think if I ever get everything I want in life, then I'm not so sure I'd be so excited to wake up each morning. It's possibilities that keep me moving forward. While I'm very satisfied with my life, there's still room to grow and more to achieve. Until I heard Oprah say those words this morning, it didn't occur to me that there was a finish line.
An Oprah assignment popped up at the end of the show: "So, Why Did I Get Married? - you and your friends'll be talking about it. Better yet, talk about it with your husband." Check. A conversation will be had.
And finally - I LOVED, yes LOVED, the Shiatsu exercises I committed to yesterday. Did anyone else try those? From the first pressure point (the so-called "Palace of Anxiety"), I felt instantly better. I'm amazed. Now pardon me as I float effortlessly through the remainder of my day.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
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17 comments:
I think it's interesting how Oprah has made your life more stressful so that she can get you into an Oprah approved stress relief program.
I think her statement about having achieved all her dreams speaks about the current state of her own ego. There's nothing left she could accomplish?
Hi
I just wanted to comment on something you said yesterday, and talked about today. You said you were feeling a little anxious after the recent run of ‘our country is in trouble stories’, and so you turned to O’s website to deal with the anxiety. To me this feels a little like you are putting on a band-aid, something you yourself said wouldn’t do to fix the problems.
Wouldn’t we all be better off, if when we feel upset about what is going on around us, we try to do something about the problems? I know it feels overwhelming and often like there is nothing you can do, but I wonder if that is not a reaction to sheer amount of need in the world, and the way that often a problem is presented ‘look the health care system is broken’, without any suggestion on how individuals could help.
I think rather than treating the symptom, the anxiety, you should choose one of the bad news stories from the last few day, and think of a way that an individual could help, maybe volunteering for one of the hospital boards, or at a school, and then do that. Did Oprah suggest anything that individuals could do? If she didn’t I think that is a big failing on her part. The anxiety would go away if the problem was fixed.
Cheers,
Lara
LO - I'm all about the Shiastsu exercise you posted! I love it. As far as the first one (waking up and thinking about something nice I can do for myself), I'm usually jumping out of bed saying "crap!" and running around like a madwoman. Well, unless hitting the snooze button (or sleeping through my alarm all-together) a few times counts as doing something nice for myself. I guess I do that almost every morning then, and I didn't even realize it :)
RE: all of your dreams coming true...I think they change with our life experiences. Take Dr. Randy Pausch, for example - he had many "dreams" which didn't necessarily come true, but that didn't stop him from continuing to dream. Obviously his biggest dream, to have a family and maintain his legacy, came true, whether he consciously realized it or not.
I can't see anything wrong with dreams coming true. And I think poor Oprah can't say anything without getting in trouble. People who dream big and then live those dreams is a wonderful thing.
BTW, Oprah asked Janet J if all her dreams had come true, which is a fair question.
I'm just not the kind of person that wants to be perpetually dreaming with sone new huge goal to push toward. I have a couple of dreams and I would love to see them come true and am confident I wouldn't bemoan the state of my world when there's nothing left to dream about because the richness of living those dreams would be enough.
paula, yes! my husband was laughing about that too - she's beatin' me down to lift me up!
lara, yes indeed - in real life i don't believe in bandaids (except on cuts and scrapes) - during this year of Living Oprah, i'm testing out the advice of america's most influencial peddler of self-help advice to see if it really works. i'm following her advice to the letter without imposing what i think would be best. i absolutely agree - action is a healer.
jax, you always make me laugh. i love the image of starting the day by running around like a chicken with your head cut off. see? your story relieved my stress by making me laugh which was one of the items on the how-to-destress list! gracias. very true about our dreams changing. mine sure have. i thought pausch did a great job communicating that...AND how to thrive from what we might even label as "failure." he had some terrific lessons.
jurl, wait. did you just say poor Oprah? :) i think oprah says some amazing things and some not so amazing things. i just think (to quote Spiderman) "with great power comes great responsibility." words are her chosen tool and she has to wield them VERY carefully. especially when so many people look up to her, admire her, emulate her. i think her words insinuated that she wanted to share with Perry the state of being one experiences when one attains all his/her dreams. i found that fascinating because it's not something i've ever heard from anyone else's mouth...well, except for the fairytales i read when i was a kiddo.
thanks for your comments! keep 'em coming. they really help me consider my POV. you rock. xoLO
I didn't see the show, but I know from Oprah's interview on Larry King that she does NOT believe she has accomplished all there is to accomplish. Perhaps Oprah asked that question because she assumed Janet Jackson felt that way about her life. But Larry King specifically asked Oprah what her biggest fear was and she said she had a great fear of not reaching her potential. This surprised Larry because Oprah has already accomplished so much, but I suspect Oprah is constantly searching for ways to use her influence for some greater good (hence her involvement in everything from politics to philanthropy to spirituality). If Oprah truly felt there was nothing left to accomplish I think she would have retired by now (she is after all a billionaire).
And btw, there are MILLIONS of people who feel all their dreams have come true. That's hardly an extraordinary statement, and reveals more about a person's level of ambition than level of accomplishment. Happy people are simply those whose accomplishments exceed their aspirations. If you aspire to little, you needn't achieve much to feel happy. If you aspire to do a lot, you may never be happy no matter how much you accomplish.
pinktissue, i was thinking about this a lot last night - how oprah is constantly adding more to her repertoire - like her new television network. clearly this woman isn't done getting more out of life. but who are these MILLIONS of people whose dreams of come true? THEY should have a television show! thanks! best, LO
As I was reading this entry, a commercial for the next Oprah show came on. I had to laugh because just watching it made me a bit upset. I haven't tried the massage, but I'm going to have to now! lol
I think that Oprah is constantly doing because she can, which is a great thing. But perhaps she has fulfilled her basic dreams (a steady show, good friends, a steady relationship, no worries about money), and is moving on to make life better for the people around her. Or maybe she just assumed that Janet J. had fulfilled all her dreams? All I know is, I certainly haven't.
I will say that your comments made me think of something that happened a few years ago on her show. She had a physician on who was talking about how our homes and our bad habits could make us sick. One of the things he talked about was the mites that lived in our linens (boy, I didn't sleep well that night). He informed her and the audience that washing your sheets and pillows once a week was fine for health and comfort. Oprah commented, "Just once a week?" and seemed astonished. She went on to say (paraphrased) that she had clean sheets every night. The doctor gave her this look as if to say, "Isn't that special?", then proceeded to remind her (paraphrased) that "Not all of us have someone to wash our sheets." The audience cracked up, and so did I!
ms. mya, i TOTALLY remember that show. i remember it because she said she has her sheets changed every other day because she liked the crisp feeling. my sheets have been laundered so many times, they'll never see crisp again! for some reason, i think of that episode almost everytime i change the sheets. and yes, i too, got beyond grossed out about bedbugs. i think i'll go wash my sheets now...
xoLO
Just a note from someone who did (at one point) have an "all my dreams came true" moment. I was living in my dream city, working at THE job I'd always wanted, engaged to them man I'd been in love with for almost a decade. My loved ones were healthy, I was financially solvent, and I was surrounded by friends.
That hasn't all fallen apart by any means. But I did really almost literally wake up one morning and say, Hey, I need some new goals, 'cause I was lucky enough to reach the old ones.
Did my "win the lottery and retire at 25" dream come true? Nah. But I do remember those shining months as being truly unbelievably happy times, and even better, knowing they were happy times while they were happening. (ie, I didn't have to wait and look back and think, Gee, that was fun, too bad I didn't appreciate it. I really did appreciate it, almost every second.) I don't talk about it much because I know--and knew then--that it was an unusual phenomenon. But it does happen, even for non-gazillionaires.
I am trying hard to buy all the clothes talked about in the Shlumpadinka Makeover. I got the white shirt, black dress and the Tory Burch tops could be on sale Saks. Thank you for this blog.
This is an interesting project but I fear you may run the risk of harming yourself in the long run, much like the guy in "Supersize Me".
Oprah is the charasmatic leader of a lay congregation (a. k. a. as a cult). By doing everything she says, you are abdicating your ability to think independently and make decisions that are tailored to your own interests, not hers.
She is not an expert on life nor are her experts on the show necessarily right either. The recommedations are just opinions and should be evaluated against experts in the field.
For example, if you have anxiety, go see a psychiatrist. If you have a medical problem, go to a doctor who can provide you with a diagnosis (not Dr. Oz who has no knowledge of your medical history. Want a good book to read? Read the NYTimes book review and the New York Review of Books. Want to know how to dress? Hire a personal shopper or a sylist. Interested in faith/spirituality? Read books on the various religions and see what works for you.
Buy not seeking counsel that takes your own circumstances into consideration, you run the risk of harming yourself.
Good Luck,
Jane
P.S. you may want to put a psychiatrist on retainer now so that when your project is complete, he/she can deprogram you.
This is an interesting project but I fear you may run the risk of harming yourself in the long run, much like the guy in "Supersize Me".
Oprah is the charasmatic leader of a lay congregation (a. k. a. as a cult). By doing everything she says, you are abdicating your ability to think independently and make decisions that are tailored to your own interests, not hers.
She is not an expert on life nor are her experts on the show necessarily right either. The recommedations are just opinions and should be evaluated against experts in the field.
For example, if you have anxiety, go see a psychiatrist. If you have a medical problem, go to a doctor who can provide you with a diagnosis (not Dr. Oz who has no knowledge of your medical history. Want a good book to read? Read the NYTimes book review and the New York Review of Books. Want to know how to dress? Hire a personal shopper or a sylist. Interested in faith/spirituality? Read books on the various religions and see what works for you.
Buy not seeking counsel that takes your own circumstances into consideration, you run the risk of harming yourself.
Good Luck,
Jane
P.S. you may want to put a psychiatrist on retainer now so that when your project is complete, he/she can deprogram you.
Just curious - did it ever occur to you that Oprah can dispense non-stop advice because she is a billionaire? If she had to worry about how to pay the bills, I don't think her personal betterment program would exist. Do you have financial worries? Financial worries can be all consuming. However, I have to say, more power to you, because after you get a book deal, and probably a movie deal, you will be one more step closer to feeling like Oprah financially!
o - thanks for your story! you made me think of a moment in my life where i felt like everything was perfect and the way it needed to be. i was in the himalayas and i felt at perfect peace. i held onto that feeling while i was there (about a month), but it did allude my grasp after my return to the states. still, i think back on that time and know i still have that place of total satisfaction somewhere inside me.
econfkids, you let me know if you feel better once you have those items. at first i thought it was all silly. now i like to mix and match.
jane, hilarious. and true. it will be interesting to see what happens. i knew coming into this that there'd be some risks to play the lab rat, but for now (i think) i'm hanging in there. i'm lucky i have a terrific support system who is helping me to continue looking at this whole project critically, without falling too far. of course, i might eat my words at the end of the year. i'll let you know.
anon - YES YES YES. i think this is totally one of the reasons she feels she can dispense advice. ASBOLUTELY. so...why do we listen? i'm really trying to get to the bottom of that this year.
thanks all!
xoLO
Oh, I totally agree about the "all your dreams come true" comment. Who else but Oprah can say that that's true?!
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