Here is what I am doing today - going over tapes of Oprah (starting Jan 2008) to makes sure I've heard every tiny piece of advice so I can make sure I've left no stone unturned. I was tossing and turning all last night, feeling like I wasn't measuring up, somehow. That there had to be MORE I should be doing. Isn't that strange? In following all my assignments, thus far, I'm left with this overwhelming sensation that I am somehow lacking or failing. I just rewatched the 1/8/2008 episode where Oprah says, "I think in terms of investment, it's the best thing you can ever give yourself…is to have beautiful surroundings." I look around my home and have incredible doubts about whether or not my living environment measures up. The odd thing is, before I started this project, I really loved my place. I loved being in it. Now, when I look around, I see what I lack. This can't be my "best life," can it? Being steeped in self-doubt about whether or not I'm "enough" cannot be Oprah's aim for me. But still, I'm following her suggestions and advice and I am urged on by her assurance that this is going to work if I really commit.
So, if I don't find happiness and contentment, what does this say about me?
I'm going to take a little break from re-watching tapes and send out my invitation to my girlfriends to go see 27 Dresses. The delicious smell of chili (a la recipe from Oprah's site) is wafting thru my home. Dinner'll be a delight. I'm really lucky I work "odd" hours - I have no idea how I'd ever be able follow Oprah's "best life" suggestions otherwise.
And finally, tomorrow is Super Tuesday. As I live in Illinois, we're part of the big day. I think you all know who I'm voting for when I step behind the curtain at my polling place. How about you? Has your vote been swayed by the recommendation of Oprah?
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6 comments:
I am anxiously awaiting your response when you start to read the Eckhart Tolle book. Considering how you're feeling right now, it should be oh-so-very interesting!
christy - i have high hopes about working on the Tolle book! thanks for the great insight, as usual. - LO
"I look around my home and have incredible doubts about whether or not my living environment measures up. The odd thing is, before I started this project, I really loved my place. I loved being in it. Now, when I look around, I see what I lack."
Who or what are you comparing yourself to? Oprah has made you feel inadequate in your own home? That makes me sad.
I like beautiful things too. To me, beautiful things include the seashells my parents collected scuba diving in the Bahamas 30 years ago, pictures of my family and friends, the artwork my brother has made (he's an artist - it's not the work of a 5 year old), books, and music. I also love my antique dresser lovingly refinished by the grandfather who died before I was born and the dining room furniture that belonged to my other grandparents.
Will Nate Berkus ever walk into my home and declare it perfect? Nope. Will Home & Garden ever coming calling to put me in their magazine? Nope.
That's ok. I love my home. I am safe and comfortable and cozy. My home is a place of love and friendship and memories. Friends like to gather here, especially when I cook. And to me, that's more beautiful than any vase or throw pillow Oprah loves.
hey LMS!
thanks for the lovely comment and reminder. i can't say i wish i had material things to make my home "beautiful" but what i feel now is...hm...for want of a better word, i'll say "judged." i have been having these moments where i look at my home, not thru my own eyes, but thru those of someone i imagine judging whether my world falls into the "beautiful" category.
but you know what? your comment has reminded me that i can trust my own idea of "beautiful." i needed to hear that today! thank you!
You're welcome Living Oprah!
Truthfully, that's my problem with Oprah Winfrey. I think she has this way of making people feel like if they're not living up to her personal standard or by her personal definition of "beautiful" than they aren't good enough. I wish her "live your best life" mantra included the statement "according to your your own personal definition," but if it did, she probably wouldn't have the power to make an unknown author (or decorator) world famous in an hour.
By the way, I am voting for Obama tomorrow, but I'm doing so because I believe in him, NOT because Oprah endorsed him.
Dear LO: As someone who has been in your home, I personally love it and feel that it is beautiful because it reflects both you and your life partner. I love glancing through your books and seeing the items and photos that make me smile and think of you both. And I'm not just saying this because we're related.
Love, SILLO (sis-in-law of LO)
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